Super Bowl Party-Etiquette Tips (II)

I posted this blog for the first time during last years Super Bowl (’10 Colts vs. Saints) and since then it has served as a teaching tool for those who are new or ignorant to the value of a real party-goer attending a Super Bowl Party. I thought I would re-post it with a few minor changes to keep events current:

Hey! If you're going to a Super Bowl party this Sunday and you know nothing to very little about the professional sport of football, do us all a favor and be very-very quiet and go hang in the kitchen with the ladies, the annoying dog/sleepy cat and the random guy who’s constantly checking his iPhone that nobody knows or how he got invited; and if you have some extra time on your hands go upstairs and keep the little kids entertained with your goofy ‘Lady Ga-Ga’ impression while simultaneously updating your Facebook and Twitter accounts with pissed off status updates that explain how u ‘Hate being at Super Bowl Parties’

Basically what I'm saying is "SHUT THE **CK UP"! Shut up and don't say a word until halftime and even at that point, you want to keep your non-football talk simple and easy. "Hey, how u feeling? Is your team winning?" [response] "Yes...now please shut your Pie Hole!" That the should be the extent of a conversation that involves a hardcore NFL fan and a somewhat casual party-goer that just happens to be at the party cause he felt compelled to be doing something everybody else is doing

No real NFL/Super Bowl fan wants to be zoned in on the 1st qtr of the game while answering questions from a sports novice about which player is who ("is that Ben Romoburger wearing #7?”) or (“how many points does one touchdown make?”) Especially when your favorite team is marching toward the red zone, getting ready to score their first touchdown of the game. You as the fan want complete focus from all who’s surrounding you and if there’s any conversation, it’s about what play will your team call on 3rdand goal

The real tip here is if you are a hardcore NFL fan and you truly want to focus on the game stay home, invite 2 or 3 (no more than that) of your truest football friends over--light up the ole 64-inch Flat Screen TV and watch the Super Bowl in NFL Bliss. This way you can focus, drink and yell at the screen without some 'American Idol loving' Douche-bag looking at you all crazy and telling you to "pipe it down a bit dude, its just a game, its no big deal". That type of guy will be littered all over super bowl parties this Sunday from California to Maine and sometimes they will travel in packs to S.B. parties; these type of people should be eliminated from all sporting activities/viewings, period!

This is more than just a game, this is the final and biggest game of the season for the NFL and we Americans are celebrating like we're entitled to each and every year and that's wit National Holiday reverence. After the Super Bowl all NFL fans will go into a hibernation detox withdrawal that's not a pretty sight to see; believe me, I'm n the early stages of it right now--I'm sweating like a pig 24 hours a day, sleeping only 3 hours at night and I"m losing weight rapidly...somebody please mail me a 12 pack of BLUE MOON, couple boxes of BACON WRAPPED HOT DOGS and a number 1 fan foam finger so I can start my recovery…with a NFL Lockout looming in the near future I will also need a couple of Kegs, a couple of Miami Dolphin Cheerleaders and some of that California-Snoop Doggy Dogg ‘sticky-icky icky’ to get through the offseason, if u know what I mean?!!!