CLOTHES-KILL is much to do about something

Growing up in the midwest, of these United States, and going to college on the east coast for 3 years I got used to seeing a wide range of wild and domestic animals spread dead across highways, freeways and street/roads. Not a pretty site but it was the reality of the situation when you live in middle-america suburbia and the wooded areas that use to exclusively belong to mother nature is now cut up and occupied by asphalt-concrete, buildings, vehicles, litter, pollution, humans, etc...

But now I reside on the west coast, Los Angeles, CA., and since I've lived out here the roadkill epidemic that I'm use to has turned into something inanimate and to be honest quite deceiving; I call it ClothesKill and its running rapid all over the state of California

It's 2 in the morning and I'm driving home from a late night of 'kicking it' and I see up ahead a stretched out limp object in the middle of this empty street that I'm casually cruising on and of course I think what most people would think, it's shaped like some type of rodent so it must be a dead animal that unfortunately got ran over while trying to chase down its next meal crossing the street. As I get closer preparing myself to look, even though I tell myself don't look (I do this every time I approach 'something' laying in the middle of a road) I slow the mileage down as I drive around the deceased livestock but to my sullen surprise it's not a grief-stricken animal that met its demise much to early, its the bottom half of a pajama set streaked with tire tread, Damn! For the umpteenth time over the last half decade I've been fooled by the 'ClothesKill Reaper'

This only proves that I've yet to feel totally comfortable with the West Coast lifestyle, really? yes really, let me explain. In the Midwest/east coast landscape you might get an occasional clotheskill incident but for the most part objects that lay dormant in the middle of the street use to breath at some point within the previous 24 hours. But in the south&northwest region of the 'States' the calculations are much different; 75% of all items in the street use to hang, with starched pride, in somebody's closet or folded in a dresser, before it met its demise on Sunset Blvd

It's to the point where I'm convinced that there is some secret undercover late night wardrobe bandit running the main and side-streets of L.A., randomly dropping clothing material and other accessories with reckless abandon (there must also be a kid toy bandit as well because I see the occasional toddler pacifier and squeaky duck laying up against a dirty half painted side-curb) because how else would these items get misplaced in the street

When I wake up every morning and look out on the main street that crosses in front of my tenement I can see things laying in the street that when put all together tells a story in itself: Depend Diaper with doo-doo and mud-stains...ripped USC hooded sweatshirt...Ed Hardy T's...black and white 'Thriller' Jacket...Fedora...thermal underwear...Baby blanket...football mouthpiece...old breath mint...orange prison jumpsuit...'Last Dragon' movie poster...Yamaka...afro wig...jheri curl box...fluorescent panties...1 red sock...doo-rag...a ladys outfit from Neiman Marcus...zebra patterned Snuggie...Mickey Mouse themed Huggie...Shamwow...bluetooth...one tooth...kidney stone...rupaul's wig...ripped car & bicycle tires...golds gym robe...Obama '08 button...gay cowboy hat...one glitter glove...used and unused condoms...condom wrapper with no condom in it...silicone implants...lawn chair...lent...jump-rope...couch cushion...dentures...Billy Ocean cd...random cd from an artist you never heard of....costume jewelry...bathroom carpet...O.J. Simpson Buffalo Bill's t-shirt....half-eaten lowfat muffin...your finger nail and boogers...dried up blood...blood that has yet to dry...chicken bone...broken 40 oz. glass...Quizno's cup...Taco Bell wrapper...Wrigley Spearmint Gum...divided box of napkins...Honda rear view mirror...Superman cape...double D bra...skinny jeans...kids belt...grocey list post-it...receipt from McDonalds...used toilet paper...love letter from Jerry Michaels (who?)...hair patch...hair...the words 'etc., etc., etc.'...in the grand scheme of things all of this has much to do about nothing but it's still interesting!

p.s.
L.A. does have 60,000 homeless people occupying the city limits, that might explain a lot!