Friday, February 5, 2010

Allen Iversons 'Crying' press conference (Transcript)

[We take you 'live' to a Philadelphia 76ers press conference]

76ers GM ED Stefanski: "Thank you for coming out this afternoon, it's a very special day for the 76er organization...we're proud to re-introduce Allen Iverson back to the organization....Allen"

[A.I. slides up to the microphone, seated at a table, with a huge NBA 76er logo banner behind him]

ALLEN IVERSON: "Crying...Crying...Crying...is that what we're talking about?....Crying! How silly is that?...we talking bout Crying...not joy, not happiness but crying...how the hell am I going to make my teammates better by crying, huh? I'm suppose to be the franchise player adn we talking about crying.....not joy-love-happiness but crying...not a game, not practice but CRYING

[A.I. starts gradually crying]

....It could be just one tear i drop all year and we focusing on my Crying......WHAT R WE TALKING BOUT MAN, WE TALKING BOUT CRYING!......

[A.I. starts all out balling crying, uncontrollably]

..... all i want to do is play basketball, that's what i was born to do....I'm one of the hardest-dedicated players n the NBA and we talking Crying....you guys can't do that, its not fair, its CRYING, that's all....its CRYING...."

[A.I. stops crying abruptly, wipe tears quickly, and with deadpan says "Next Question"]

the end

Super Bowl Party Etiquette Tips

Hey! If you're going to a Super Bowl party this Sunday and you know nothing to very little about the professional sport of football, do us all a favor and be very very quiet and go hang in the kitchen with the ladies, the annoying dog and the owner of the house your partying at who's simultaneously trying to figure out who clogged up the basement toilet while also door buzzing some body in through the front bldg gate

Basically what I'm saying is "SHUT THE **CK UP"! Shut up and don't say a word until halftime and even at that point, you want to keep your non-football talk simple and easy. "Hey, how u feeling? Is your team winning" [response] "Yes...bye" That the should be the extent of a conversation that involves a hardcore NFL fan and a somewhat casual party-goer that just happens to be at the party cause he felt compelled to be doing something everybody else is doing

No real NFL/Super Bowl fan wants to be zoned in on the 1st qtr of the game while answering questions from a sports novice about which player is who ("is that Clayton Manning wearing #12"?) and how many points does one touchdown constitute when Peyton Manning is n position to drive his Colts into the red zone and possibly score the first touchdown of the game

The real tip here is if you are a hardcore NFL fan and you truly want to focus on the game stay home, invite 2 or 3 (no more than that) of your truest football friends over--light up the ole Wide-Flat Screen TV and watch the Super Bowl in NFL Bliss. This way you can focus, drink and yell at the screen without some 'American Idol lovin' Dooch-bag looking at you all crazy and telling you to "pipe it down a bit, its just a game, its no big deal". That type of guy will be littered all over super bowl parties this Sunday from California to Maine and sometimes they will travel in packs to S.B. parties; these type of people should be eliminated from all sporting activities/viewings, period!

This is more than just a game, this is the final and biggest game of the season for the NFL and we Americans are celebrating like we're entitled to each and every year and that's wit National Holiday reverence. After the Super Bowl all NFL fans will go into a hibernation detox withdrawal that's not a pretty sight to see; believe me, I'm n the early stages of it right now--I'm sweating like a pig 24 hours a day, sleeping only 3 hours at night and I"m losing weight rapidly...somebody please mail me a 6 pack of PBR, couple boxes of Bratwurst and a number 1 fan foam finger so I can start my recovery

I'm already looking forward to the April 24th Draft

Maxwell...the new King of R&B

If the rhythm and blues/soul genre of music was looking for a successor for Marvin Gaye and the likes of Teddy Pendegrass I think he's been resurrected and he's staking his claim, again, as the 'man'

During the entire 2nd half of 2009 singer-songwriter MAXWELL toured the country and re-established what had been missing in the music-performance game...'Grown Man Sensual-ness' Ladies from the very young to very old was captured by his essence

I had a chance to see the brother perform at the Hollywood Bowl this past summer (my date for the night was the Doctor-Ms. Darnise Martin...a superfan of Maxwell for the last 10 years) and all I could do at the end of the night was stand up and give a roaring round of applause, he tore it down, he had every lady in the joint on the edge of their seat, he was playing 'em like a puppeteer. It was a fantastic show and I couldn't have been more impressed

Every women in the arena was 'moist' and a few even threw their panties up on stage, I even saw a guy throw his boxers on stage, not mine of course, that's how much control he had

Maxwell, welcome back, and thanks for changing the game a bit upon your re-entry (he took a 7 year hiatus from recording) I'm sure the ladies, and possibly a few of the fellas, are actively waiting for that next album

Thursday, February 4, 2010

Here's Hoping Haiti's relief isn't Katrina-ized

While all the support and concern has gone toward the Relief for Haiti, and rightfully so, I can't help but wonder about the Relief we Americans gathered for the victims of the Gulf Coast 5 years ago after Hurricane Katrina ripped through New Orleans and parts of Mississippi. We all collectively gathered close to 800 million dollars (telethons, red cross, internet donating sources, etc.) to go towards the rebuilding of the southeast region of United States of America and unfortunately Louisiana and Mississippi was lucky if they received a quarter of that money, I recently traveled to New Orleans (summer of '09) and there is still a lot of work that needs to be done; there are portions of the region that look like earthquake ravaged Haiti (a virtual war zone of poverty and chaos); the money came in quickly during that first year but it slowed greatly after that

Here's hoping Haiti doesn't fall victim to a financial disaster after Mother Nature treated them so cruel. They need and should receive every penny the citizens around the world is contributing and then some for the foreseeable future

So the next time someone ask you to donate to the Haiti relief fund ask yourself who's responsible for helping and aiding the victims in the Gulf who've yet to recover from their own natural disaster...and where the hell is the remainder of the 800 million dollars?! It all should have went to the Gulf Coast

Wednesday, February 3, 2010

AVATAR = spectacular and overrated

I couldn't disagree more with people who believe this movie was Fantastic. Yes the special effects were outstanding and quite simply that's the least director James Cameron could do considering the hundreds of millions of dollars he spent on this film over the last 10 years. But with that being said the storyline is old and tiresome and it does little to keep the suspense throughout the film.

The special effects kept me interested enough not to fall asleep on this 2 hour and 40 plus minute film but the dialogue and story premise is sophomoric. About an hour and a half into the film one could tell what the final outcome was going to be, all u had to do is read between the 'bad' lines. Great effort on the special effects, they should win all type of visual arts/graphic honors during this Award season but to be nominated for best picture of the year by the Oscar committee is ludicrous; I guess when a film cost 500 million to produce (Fox Studios) and it rakes in a billion dollars at the box office voters are obligated to nominate such a film, and apart of me kind of understands that but lets be real at the end of the day this film is just an exercise in exploring the next level of computer graphic technology for the 21st century; if you want to see a film exploit the greatness of writing, story, characters and special effects re-rent the Matrix. Now that's a great flick!