'Shit' on my Car

March 07, 2008

Some 'one' or some 'thing' took a Shit on my car this week and I can't figure it out. I don't know why they did it; all my bills are paid up and I haven't been responsible for a 'hit and run' accident in over 2 years

Here it is...I got up early this morning, got dressed, ate, left the house, got in my car and started to drive off when I realized the ample-sized portion of Shit on the hood of my car
I pulled over, got out and analyzed the situation and realized that it wasn't Human shit (didn't smell enuff), it wasn't Dog shit (wasn't big enuff, unless of course a Chihuahua took a shit on my car and I don't think that was the case because I have a SUV and Chihuahua aren't strong enuff to jump that high, I think?) and of course I ruled out Big Foot or Gary Coleman

After careful consideration I came to the conclusion that it indeed was Cat Shit….yes a dirty little diseased infested alley Cat decided my car hood was a litter box and took a nice swirvey-curvy Shit on my hood, gangster style…Damn!

I was pissed that whole day and refused to let it go for days until a nice half Asian—half Jewish homeless gentleman informed me that Cat-Shit on the car is Good Luck. At first I thought he was 'pulling my leg' (because he was literally pulling on my right leg when he told me this) but after doing a quick Wikipedia search on my Blackberry (I gave the homeless guy $1.29 for his gift of knowledge), it turns out Good Luck-Cat Shit is one of the oldest proverbs in literary history. It reads:
'For one to receive Shit of Cat on hood of car means you have Cat Shit to clean off car hood' ……Not sure if that is good luck but I'll take it