L.A. Marathon 2008...I completed all 26.2 Miles

March 2008

"THE PRESSURE’S IS ON BUT GUESS WHO WON’T CRACK (insert your own chuckle here)…PARDON ME…I HAD TO LAUGH AT THAT"
That’s all I kept saying to myself throughout the entire 2008 L.A. Marathon; that quote from rapper Jay Z’s lyrical catalogue is the main weapon I utilized to keep from quitting halfway thru the marathon; and considering I’m a lukewarm fan of Jay Z’s music, is what made my journey that much more interesting

I should have known I was in trouble when during the pre-race course drive thru the day before; I fell asleep in the back seat of my friend’s car and totally missed the last 6 mile markers. When I woke up my friends were laughing at me and announced that "if I can’t stay awake for a marathon car ride how am I going to complete it running?" I had no answer for such a great question

The throbbing pain from the pinch nerve that was running along the out side part my right knee was so bad that I at one point I had the psychotic but hilarious image of Jesus, Buddha and Allah running in front of me. And I immediately thought to myself "if indeed they are running in front of me why aren’t they helping me and more importantly or shall I say confusingly, they seemed to all be running in sandals which is highly frowned upon in the eyes of the marathon safety committee", anyway….

All of this disillusionment started around Mile 7, up until that point I was doing quite well, pacing myself and running with pride and honor. But like the old catchphrase states "All good things must come to an end" and my end was around mile 6.2

It was becoming very clear from mile 6.2 thru to mile 8 that I was going to have a very hard time completing this marathon in the running mode because as much as my heart said "Pick up the pace Cordell", my right knee said "Negro Please". It was very demoralizing for me to have to admit to myself that I was going to have to limp my way the remainder 18 miles to the finish line. And believe me there were moments (especially miles 9-14) where I thought calling it quits would be smarter in terms of my long term physical health. At the same time I was having hallucinatory tales of farm animals laughing and teasing me, women giving birth along the course and at one point as I was approaching Mile 12 I could of swore I saw a group of people pushing the marker back as I was running towards it. But nevertheless I soldiered thru with the help of a few marathon angels

The first marathon angel came in the shape of a teenage girl who stopped after seeing me riving in pain, as all 26,000 registered runners seemingly passing me by, gave me a pair of medicated patches to put on my right knee. That helped a little bit, I continued to limp for a bit more when a 2nd angel stopped to give me a 3rd medicated patch that I promptly applied to my knee before standing up again to continue the effort. Only then did I see the ultimate angel appear out of thin air by the name of Patty from Orange County (don’t officially know her last name so I replaced it with her place of residency) she gave me inspiration and additional reasoning to want to finish this race. To be honest all she really did was just limp along with me while proving to be a soundboard for great conversation (although her initial motives were to get me to join her in quitting the race so she wouldn’t be overly embarrassed when she asked the Race Officials for a cart ride back to the finish line) Of course after a few seconds of humming and awning I told Patty "Nope, I think I have to finish". Patty understood and proceeded to finish with me
The sun became stronger as the day moved along and it clearly took its toll on runners. I saw a few people throwing up, passing out, and giving up completely. I made sure I kept myself hydrated by consuming more than enough of oranges, water, Gatorade, pretzels, bagels, gel packs and yes even more oranges. I think I’m good on eating another orange until next year’s marathon. Patty and I limped tall along our path, we passed by numerous music bands playing along the street (most consisting of a religious tone—Jesus Christ had a huge presence on the course), cheerleader teams, animals play and serious fighting with each other, people young-old & disabled all cheering for us to "Don’t Give Up"

As Patty and I continued to get to know each other my knee slowly started to feel better and with her recommendation of taking a few Motrin pills and getting my knee wrapped with an ice pack and brace at one of the many Medical tents along the course I felt like I might be able to re-start my running at some point (of course that never happened). There were some neighborhoods along the course that were so ghetto/hood-ish that if I could of ran at any point during the marathon it would have been when I was crossing those streets. I never would of thought that gang-bangers and homeless skid-row vagrants were fans of marathons but apparently they are because they all came out to stand and stare and stare and stand…they were not cheering they were just staring with a inquisitive look that said "What the fuck are these motherfuckers doing running thru my ’hood….if one of them stops to stretch or tie their shoe, I’m going to put a cap in his ass". Needless to say I limped as fast as I could as I passed through those markers

By the time Mile 19 came along Patty decided she had enough and she quit the race so she could go meet her runner buddy and head back to the O.C., I thanked her and told her how appreciative I was of her and as we left each other a new found burst of energy came over my body which catapulted me through the next 3 miles. But of course a marathon is 26.2 not 22.2 so as I re-focused on the last 4 miles my knee decided to remind me of what excruciating pain feels like and that pinched nerve swelled up once again. By this time I had company with me. A Mexican and a black guy were limping along with me, they each had various leg ailments and as much as I wanted to care about them and their life story all I could concentrate on was finishing the race and not quitting. By the time I reached mile 25 it was just me and the Mexican. Don’t know if I would consider him an angel (no body compares to Patty from Orange County) but he was a source of continued pride and honor as we both looked and limped as the sun started to go down with the course slowly being shut down behind us. At one point during mile 25 I saw a few decrepit marathoners from 2007 flayed out on the side of the road screaming in pain and yelling to us to quit now so we could join them…I immediately chalked that up as an early sign of ’Post-Race Crazy Thought Syndrome’

As we neared the 26 mile marker, joy and happiness came across my body but then I turned the corner on to Flower Street and to my surprise I had another .2 miles to go. Damn! That was the longest .2 I’ve ever endured in my life. Despite the extra footage I mustered up enough energy to ’Limp-Run’ the last few feet and I crossed the finish line with a forced smile and enough pain to fill a house. I received my medal that signifies my completion of the 2008 L.A. Marathon. I briefly hydrated myself while eating a dried up peanut butter and jelly sandwich at the post-race meal tent and then proceeded to walk towards my vehicle so I could drive home and fall into a sleep like coma….
The End

By the way, my car was parked 10 blocks from the finish line so I technically finished a 27.2 mile Marathon!