Friday, February 5, 2010

Super Bowl Party Etiquette Tips

Hey! If you're going to a Super Bowl party this Sunday and you know nothing to very little about the professional sport of football, do us all a favor and be very very quiet and go hang in the kitchen with the ladies, the annoying dog and the owner of the house your partying at who's simultaneously trying to figure out who clogged up the basement toilet while also door buzzing some body in through the front bldg gate

Basically what I'm saying is "SHUT THE **CK UP"! Shut up and don't say a word until halftime and even at that point, you want to keep your non-football talk simple and easy. "Hey, how u feeling? Is your team winning" [response] "Yes...bye" That the should be the extent of a conversation that involves a hardcore NFL fan and a somewhat casual party-goer that just happens to be at the party cause he felt compelled to be doing something everybody else is doing

No real NFL/Super Bowl fan wants to be zoned in on the 1st qtr of the game while answering questions from a sports novice about which player is who ("is that Clayton Manning wearing #12"?) and how many points does one touchdown constitute when Peyton Manning is n position to drive his Colts into the red zone and possibly score the first touchdown of the game

The real tip here is if you are a hardcore NFL fan and you truly want to focus on the game stay home, invite 2 or 3 (no more than that) of your truest football friends over--light up the ole Wide-Flat Screen TV and watch the Super Bowl in NFL Bliss. This way you can focus, drink and yell at the screen without some 'American Idol lovin' Dooch-bag looking at you all crazy and telling you to "pipe it down a bit, its just a game, its no big deal". That type of guy will be littered all over super bowl parties this Sunday from California to Maine and sometimes they will travel in packs to S.B. parties; these type of people should be eliminated from all sporting activities/viewings, period!

This is more than just a game, this is the final and biggest game of the season for the NFL and we Americans are celebrating like we're entitled to each and every year and that's wit National Holiday reverence. After the Super Bowl all NFL fans will go into a hibernation detox withdrawal that's not a pretty sight to see; believe me, I'm n the early stages of it right now--I'm sweating like a pig 24 hours a day, sleeping only 3 hours at night and I"m losing weight rapidly...somebody please mail me a 6 pack of PBR, couple boxes of Bratwurst and a number 1 fan foam finger so I can start my recovery

I'm already looking forward to the April 24th Draft

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