I posted this blog for the first time during last years Super Bowl (’10 Colts vs. Saints) and since then it has served as a teaching tool for those who are new or ignorant to the value of a real party-goer attending a Super Bowl Party. I thought I would re-post it with a few minor changes to keep events current:
Hey! If you're going to a Super Bowl party this Sunday and you know nothing to very little about the professional sport of football, do us all a favor and be very-very quiet and go hang in the kitchen with the ladies, the annoying dog/sleepy cat and the random guy who’s constantly checking his iPhone that nobody knows or how he got invited; and if you have some extra time on your hands go upstairs and keep the little kids entertained with your goofy ‘Lady Ga-Ga’ impression while simultaneously updating your Facebook and Twitter accounts with pissed off status updates that explain how u ‘Hate being at Super Bowl Parties’
Basically what I'm saying is "SHUT THE **CK UP"! Shut up and don't say a word until halftime and even at that point, you want to keep your non-football talk simple and easy. "Hey, how u feeling? Is your team winning?" [response] "Yes...now please shut your Pie Hole!" That the should be the extent of a conversation that involves a hardcore NFL fan and a somewhat casual party-goer that just happens to be at the party cause he felt compelled to be doing something everybody else is doing
No real NFL/Super Bowl fan wants to be zoned in on the 1st qtr of the game while answering questions from a sports novice about which player is who ("is that Ben Romoburger wearing #7?”) or (“how many points does one touchdown make?”) Especially when your favorite team is marching toward the red zone, getting ready to score their first touchdown of the game. You as the fan want complete focus from all who’s surrounding you and if there’s any conversation, it’s about what play will your team call on 3rdand goal
The real tip here is if you are a hardcore NFL fan and you truly want to focus on the game stay home, invite 2 or 3 (no more than that) of your truest football friends over--light up the ole 64-inch Flat Screen TV and watch the Super Bowl in NFL Bliss. This way you can focus, drink and yell at the screen without some 'American Idol loving' Douche-bag looking at you all crazy and telling you to "pipe it down a bit dude, its just a game, its no big deal". That type of guy will be littered all over super bowl parties this Sunday from California to Maine and sometimes they will travel in packs to S.B. parties; these type of people should be eliminated from all sporting activities/viewings, period!
This is more than just a game, this is the final and biggest game of the season for the NFL and we Americans are celebrating like we're entitled to each and every year and that's wit National Holiday reverence. After the Super Bowl all NFL fans will go into a hibernation detox withdrawal that's not a pretty sight to see; believe me, I'm n the early stages of it right now--I'm sweating like a pig 24 hours a day, sleeping only 3 hours at night and I"m losing weight rapidly...somebody please mail me a 12 pack of BLUE MOON, couple boxes of BACON WRAPPED HOT DOGS and a number 1 fan foam finger so I can start my recovery…with a NFL Lockout looming in the near future I will also need a couple of Kegs, a couple of Miami Dolphin Cheerleaders and some of that California-Snoop Doggy Dogg ‘sticky-icky icky’ to get through the offseason, if u know what I mean?!!!
Tuesday, February 1, 2011
Sunday, December 12, 2010
Friday, November 19, 2010
Sunday, November 14, 2010
N.F.L....National Flag Football Loser
I was recently invited to participate in a 'pick up' flag football and I immediately refused but after some careful but poignant prodding by my homies, I was persuaded to join a early Saturday morning game at the local park
Playing both defensive back and wide receiver through out the entire 2 hour game was rough, considering I hadn't played any sort of football related game in 10 or more years, but after starting off slow, physically, i rounded into shape at the 34 minute mark and preceded to lead my team to a narrow hard fought victory
I left the field thinking, " i can do this every wknd...I forgot how much fun flag football can be, its challenging but not to hard on the body cause you're not really tackling any body", the homies and i went to the local bar across the street and had a few adult beverages and bragged about how good of a team we could be if we played every week and at the end of the night we made a vow that we would join an organized flag football league come Fall season and really show the world how good we were. The rest of the night and even in my dreams I couldn't help but think how much of a grand time I was going to have with my new found hobby
The next morning I woke up ready to prepare oneself for work but something happen, my brain awoke on time but when it gave the rise and shine signal to my bodily limbs nothing happen. Well I won't say nothing happen cause that would mean I was paralyzed, I did move my limbs but it was at such a slow pace that a turtle could of out ran me. The previous days flag football game took a toll on me hardcore, those 2 precious hours of running up and down that park field made such an impression on my body that it took me 30 minutes to get out of the bed. It took another 30 minutes to get to the bathroom, 5 minutes to align myself in front of the toilet and 1 shameful-embarassing-gut wrenching request of my roommate; he had to help pull my shorts down to my ankles (i felt like a 1st grader) so i could relinquish that urgent-sometime annoying AM urination
It took me a grand total of 5 days to fully recover from that harmless game of flag football and judging from the non-phone calls i didn't receive from my homies, its safe to say they were going thru the same thing. The discussions and plans to re-invent ourselves into amateur flag football players came to a screeching halt. I'm sure the flag leagues don't tolerate crying from their players and believe me that's all i did the first 3 days I was recovering...yeah its time for me to switch to a sporting hobby that's more subtle and humble, like Pool-Chess-Badminton or maybe Bingo, I'm sure if I get good enuff at the bingo genre i can then take out an unsuspecting senior citizen. Hold up, let me think about that before I totally commit, some of these elderly folk have been known to a knock a mother@*#ker out over a B-2 or 0-68....
Playing both defensive back and wide receiver through out the entire 2 hour game was rough, considering I hadn't played any sort of football related game in 10 or more years, but after starting off slow, physically, i rounded into shape at the 34 minute mark and preceded to lead my team to a narrow hard fought victory
I left the field thinking, " i can do this every wknd...I forgot how much fun flag football can be, its challenging but not to hard on the body cause you're not really tackling any body", the homies and i went to the local bar across the street and had a few adult beverages and bragged about how good of a team we could be if we played every week and at the end of the night we made a vow that we would join an organized flag football league come Fall season and really show the world how good we were. The rest of the night and even in my dreams I couldn't help but think how much of a grand time I was going to have with my new found hobby
The next morning I woke up ready to prepare oneself for work but something happen, my brain awoke on time but when it gave the rise and shine signal to my bodily limbs nothing happen. Well I won't say nothing happen cause that would mean I was paralyzed, I did move my limbs but it was at such a slow pace that a turtle could of out ran me. The previous days flag football game took a toll on me hardcore, those 2 precious hours of running up and down that park field made such an impression on my body that it took me 30 minutes to get out of the bed. It took another 30 minutes to get to the bathroom, 5 minutes to align myself in front of the toilet and 1 shameful-embarassing-gut wrenching request of my roommate; he had to help pull my shorts down to my ankles (i felt like a 1st grader) so i could relinquish that urgent-sometime annoying AM urination
It took me a grand total of 5 days to fully recover from that harmless game of flag football and judging from the non-phone calls i didn't receive from my homies, its safe to say they were going thru the same thing. The discussions and plans to re-invent ourselves into amateur flag football players came to a screeching halt. I'm sure the flag leagues don't tolerate crying from their players and believe me that's all i did the first 3 days I was recovering...yeah its time for me to switch to a sporting hobby that's more subtle and humble, like Pool-Chess-Badminton or maybe Bingo, I'm sure if I get good enuff at the bingo genre i can then take out an unsuspecting senior citizen. Hold up, let me think about that before I totally commit, some of these elderly folk have been known to a knock a mother@*#ker out over a B-2 or 0-68....
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