Cleveland's Super-MAN

I was Born and Raised in the City dubbed 'C-Town', I affectionately call it 'C-Land' but that's just me, I'm different...okaaaaaay...What geographical U.S. location am I referring to? Cleveland *motherfreakin* Ohio!

I love my town despite its many detractors and I wouldn't change my area upbringing for any town in North-South or Central America....You got it? Good!

Cleveland has numerous positive and ground-breaking moments throughout its long history...i.e.: the 19th Century (John D. Rockefeller founded Standard Oil in C-Town), 20th century (the creators of the comic book hero Superman were born in C-Land) and into this Millennium (the Cleveland Orchestra is widely regarded as one of the best in the World). But my beloved city is best known for a lot of negative occurrences, these not so positive moments are littered all over Cleveland's resume and whenever my city comes up in water-cooler conversations, these are a few low-lights that might be overheard: [in the 1970s the Cleveland River caught on fire-stemming from mass pollution; in the 80s Cleveland public officials decided to give the city a nickname 'The BIG PLUM' a slight take from New York's 'Big Apple'--needless to say that campaign spoiled after 9 months-no one likes or eats Plums so why would you nickname a city after it; in the 90s the official Rock n Roll Museum opened but if you asked a number of random people across this nation where the museum is located the last city they mention would be Cleveland); in the 2000s Lebron James went on National TV to announce he was leaving the team and city that raised and drafted him to go down to Miami and showcase his professional basketball talents on South Beach]

But just when I thought Cleveland was no longer a 'Kcool' blue collar town a Black man with a menacing hair-do, bad posture and breath, and teeth that hasn't seen a dentist's chair in 2 decades--comes along and rescues 3 girls from the basement of a house owned by a lunatic man who had these women kidnapped and trapped for over a decade. Thank You CHARLES RAMSEY, your courage is admirable and your personality has gone Viral, literally!

The Charles Ramsey Song

the New Team in 2013

2013 is off to a Flying start, or shall i say Hurting start.... We're only a week or so into the new year and there's already Krazy Shiznit happening. A woman in Southern California got so fed up with her cheating husband that she drugged him (via his spaghetti and meatballs dinner) and when he passed out comfortably in the master bedroom, the wife preceded to cut off his Penis, completely, making his wake-up alarm very uncomfortable!!!

Just a warning to all the women that may be reading this, if you cut off my Johnson ,there will be retaliation. I will cut off your Breast...both Breasts! While your at work, on your lunch break-standing in line at Starbucks. You won't see it coming, I'll sneak up from behind as you're ordering that Vanilla Spice Latte; pull up your shirt--pull down your bra--BRIEFLY CARESS/SUCK BOTH NIPPLES--and then *Snip Snip*...it's an Eye for an Eye ladies, or shall I say, Tit for a Tat....

....Happy New Year

FREESTYLE FUNNIES (hip hop cypher): KRS One vs Kool Moe Dee

STREET PAY PHONES

I saw something rather amazing recently, I watched a man, casually walking down a major downtown street, stop at a pay phone and pick it up. This middle-age man (who looked to be of sound body and mind) put change coins in to the phone slot, dialed a number and then started a conversation with somebody on the other end. I don't care what city you live in, across this mediocre nation we call The United States of America, but having the nerve to pick up a street pay phone in the year 2012 and attempt to use it deserves a national medal of honor or a swift smack in the face for an act of 'stupidity' I've had the great privilege of witnessing the decline of street pay phones through the years (only because I pay attention to mundane things like the quality of a city issued public phone...sad I know :-() and I can't believe any body would for one second consider a 21st Century street pay phone as an option to call a person. With the advent of cell phones, there should be no reason to pick up a street pay phone these days--have you seen a street pay phone of late? If you haven't take some time and go look at the nearest one you can find, there disgusting, most of them are littered with bullet holes, bird shit, homeless people shit, dog shit, the smell of monkey breath and a smattering of H.I.V.. There are other options people, the obvious option is to buy cell phone coverage but if you can't afford that, buy a pre-pay phone, if not that--knock on your neighbors door and politely ask to use their home phone, do something but don't ever ever ever--under any circumstances pick up a street pay phone and use it--don't even pick it up to look at and admire, just look straight ahead and walk by the phone, if u turn and look back at the pay phone it has been reported that people automatically turn to dust If a pre-paid phone is not your cup of tea, there's always Morris Code, Pigeon Delivery or my favorite, just walk to the person's house to whom your trying to call and deliver your message face to face; it might take a while (a day, week or year) but its way more safe and healthier than playing Russian-Roulette with the vitality of your life I would have to be bleeding to death before I really considered picking up a street pay phone and dialing 911, even then I still might not...I would just keep bleeding till somebody came by with their own cell phone--before they called 911 I would have them take a picture of me and Tweet it to my followers, you can never miss an opportunity to gather more social media followers p.s. I saw a street pay phone that had the phone handle split in half and it was just dangling there. If you don't know those phone handles are metal tough and are not meant to break easy but somebody went all 'HULK' and 'SMASHED' on it...it was probably a movie-goer who had just watched the Disney movie 'John Carter'

Italian Cruise Ship Follie

I think we've all had this dream before>>You're one of the most celebrated Cruise Ship Captains the industry has known while Life and Job couldn't be any better, until, you report to work one day and take approximately 4,000 passengers on another routine yet beautiful Cruise near Giglio--off the coast of Tuscany but this time things don't go as plan, you hit a rock and the ship tips over and starts sinking, so you-the captain-do the most heroic thing any righteous human being could do, you jump ship and make it back to the mainland before doing something silly like dieing in the line of duty

Okay, maybe you've never had that dream but that exact same scenario just happened in real life. Early early morning on Jan. 15th 2012, an Italian Luxury Cruise Liner cap-sized and thousands of passengers lives were suddenly in danger; low & behold who was one of the men that made it off the ship unscathed? No! You're wrong! The answer I was looking for was "Who is El Capitano?"
Francesco Schettino, 52, who till this day denies any wrong doing, and his crew were row-boating back towards the mainland, while there were still a good 100 passengers trapped on the ship. I guess Schettino didn't read the fine print in the captain contract he signed; its general common knowledge that a Captain is always last to leave a sinking ship, unless...you are a GOP candidate for the 2012 Presidential race

There are audio recordings of the Captain's boss telling him (who is not on the ship but is monitoring the action) to get back on the ship even though Schettino is off the ship and headed to safety with his crew mates. All the recorded dialogue was spoken in Italian, obviously, but I could tell from the tone (and the immense amount of screaming and yelling) that Schettino's boss was giving him the busines, verbally assaulting him and trying to get the captain to finish his assigned duties
BOSS: "WHAT THE FUCK ARE U DOING? GET BACK ON THAT SHIP AND HELP THOSE PASSENGERS!!!
CAPTAIN: "Hey, I understand where you coming from, I feel your pain BOSS, I did everything I could before I got off the ship, I made 2 announcements over the intercom "hurry up and gather your things and get off the ship-pretty please" I event told them to follow me but nobody showed up at the rowboat, so what am I to do?
BOSS: U ARE SUPPOSE TO WAIT AND MAKE SURE EVERYBODY IS OFF THE DAMN SHIP, EVERY MAN-WOMAN AND CHILD
CAPTAIN: Come on Dawg, lets be serious for a minute, I can't get all 4,000 people off that ship, I'm just keeping it real, I can barely get 40 people to 'friend' me on Facebook....anyway, me and the boys are already at the mainland, we're at this bar called...I'm trying to see what the name of this place is...oh here it is...the Blue Oyster, and trust me we got everything under control, hold up again boss, let me get a Heineken, Red Bull and a Irish Car Bomb, okay, cool, I'm back...hello?...hello...."

I guess signing a cruise-captain contract is like signing a rent-a-center furniture contract, if you don't read all the fine print and ask the proper questions before putting your John Hancock on it you will find yourself stuck and no where to hide..."For the low low price of $50, plus $2,000 in late payment penalty fees, you just bought your-fine-self a cat-piss stained Ottoman Chair, a Non Flat-Screen TV with no remote control and a made-in china Afghan rug with several cigarette burn holes in it"

My heart says I would have stayed on the Cruise Ship and helped out as many people as I could but my brain would have over-rided that and said "Hey buddy, a new episode of Breaking Bad is coming on tonite so we need to jump-ship and get home a.s.a.p."

p.s.
In the most recent news coming from this incident, the Captain has told the court authorities that he 'tripped' and fell into the emergency life boat and couldn't get out to go back and help the remaining passengers, here is his exact quote:
"I was helping some passengers put the life boat to sea. At a certain point the mechanism for lowering it, blocked. We had to force it. Suddenly the system unblocked itself and I tripped and I found myself inside the life boat with a number of passengers." Once in the lifeboat that was lowered into the sea, Schettino insisted to the court that it was "Impossible to go back onboard"
>>No need to punch this statement up with any jokes, the funny kind of writes itself!

Rambling Humorous Thoughts (1)

1. All of you Cologne and Perfume 'chokers' out there, please ease off on the amount that your throwing on your person every day...your only making the global warming crisis worse

2. This goes out to the fellas, Corn-rolls and Mohawk haircuts are officially outdated...2 years ago

3. the GOP is having a devil of a time finding the best Republican candidate that will eventually lose to President Obama in the '12 Nov. Election

4. NPR (National Public Radio) has the best collection of Eclectic Journalist names in the entire radio genre, here are a few names that will get your mind spinning with curiosity...Nina Totenberg, Kai Ryssdal, Lakshmi Singh, Steve Inskeep, Corey Flintoff...[it won't hit you right away but think about the names, repeat them to yourself a few times and then you'll start thinking "WTF"!]
if I was a NPR reporter, I would change my name to LLEDROC ECAP, just so I could fit in and feel unusually important!


'Random Thoughts' to be continued...soon

Mayan Calendar forgot about the Los Angeles Clippers

The World is coming to an end on December 21st, 2012 but I think that's totally unfair and uncalled for because the Los Angeles Clippers are finally becoming a relevant franchise in the NBA and for the entire Clipper Nation fan base to be deprived of seeing their beloved 'Clips' win a World Championship is a tad bit disheartening. The Mayan calendar has predicted such, with human life so-called ending forever at the close of '12, but I'm going to stay in the moment and choose not to believe such hogwash and buffoonery; instead I'm going to put on my blue and red foam-finger and boxer shorts and head to downtown Los Angeles and meet the Clippers #1 fan 'Clipper Darrell' and we're going to root hard and long for the most beleaguered team in U.S. professional sports history
This NBA shortened season should have a lot of drama and suspense all the way through the playoffs and it looks like for the first time ever the Clippers will be a major player in deciding who will come out of the western conference and compete for the NBA Championship. They signed arguably the best point guard in the league this offseason, Chris Paul, they also signed Caron Butler and Chauncey Billups-for experience and depth-and they kept their own important free agents from leaving and signing with other teams. Despite what Laker fans are saying and refusing to come to terms with, the city of Los Angeles is slowly becoming a Clipper Town; its been a total Laker Town for the last 30 years for obvious reasons but starting last year and now filtrating through this NBA season ('11-'12), you can start the see where the City of Angels basketball fan loyalty will be 1-half Laker and other half Clippers very very soon. The momentum is already in full swing and all the Clippers have to do is continue to win on a consistent basis and the 50/50 fan split is as good as determined (they don't necessarily have to win a championship right away but if there a top 4 seed in the playoffs the next couple of seasons that's just as good). Every Laker fan I talk to is in denial about this process but if you look at the reality of the situation, this was bound to happen after the Clippers got lucky and drafted Blake Griffin and he went on to have one of the more spectacular rookie seasons since his 'Airness' came in to the league in 1984. I'm not part of the Mayan genealogy and I'm definitely no Nostradamus but I happen to be pretty good at making predictions and year ago I wrote a post at the Foxsports blog page, before any other blogger or basketball expert, that Los Angeles would soon be taking over by the 'play and swagger' of B.Griffin and how that would start the process of ushering out the Kobe 'bean' Bryant era. Below I re-posted the exact same blog, read it again or read it for the first time and let me know your thoughts....As I drive up the Pacific Coast Highway I can see the Blue/Red Tide slowly smothering the Purple/Gold tide with little resistance, its as if the Laker wave didn't see it coming
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RE-POST from Jan.21st, 2011

I can’t believe I’m writing this but Los Angeles Clipper's BLAKE ‘BEASTLY’ GRIFFIN is the new King of L.A; OK, not yet, Kobe is still the ‘man’ and the Lakers by way of owning 16 championships and having 1 of the best owners in NBA history continues to rule but this time next year the title of ‘cities best b-ball player’ will undoubtedly go to Blake Griffin (barring injury) which means the’ black mamba’ will take a backseat to the talents of Mr.Griffin

What can you say about the raw talents of the Beast, I’ve been following Griff since his senior year at the University of Oklahoma, where he was dominant and national player of the year, but I must admit he’s even passed my expectations as his first full NBA season is only 3 months old; what else could he accomplish for the 2nd half of the season? Well let me answer that, he could improve his overall defensive presence, his jump shot needs tweaking and he needs to shoot a better free-throw percentage, besides that he should continue to be a dominant player till the end of the year. His numerous-thunderous Dunks alone are worth tuning in to see, he’s poster-ized so many veteran players that NBA.com has a top 10 dunk list dedicated to the Beast, I’m sure that has never been done before and recent memory reminds me we had a healthy amount of Showtime Dunkers in this league but there’s something about the way Griff is dunking that makes you say “I’m witnessing something special”

(Blake's crotch has been On or Smashed up against so many opposing players faces that his dunks should get a NC-17 rating)!!!!

I’m not here to bash on Kobe, he’s had a nice run and will go down as one of the best to ever play (although he won’t overtake Jordan as the best ever, he’ll be a notch below him and Magic-Bird as well) but the injuries and wear & tear of 15 years in the league (regular season and playoff games) is finally taking a toll on Kobe and you can see, finally, that Kobe is slipping and will only continue to slip as the next few years go by. I expect Kobe to finish out this year near the high level he’s played at over the last 5 years but it will be fitting at this years All-Star game (in Los Angeles for the 2nd time n six years) for the official-unofficial City of Angels torch to be passed from one Kobe ‘Bean’ Bryant to the star in waiting Blake ‘Beastly’ Griffin

This is how compelling and awe-inspiring Blake the Beast has been this season, since he announced his participation in this years All-Star Game Dunk Contest I’m actually eagerly anticipating the event and I’m not the only one, I’ve heard and read plenty of die-hard as well as casual basketball fans say they will be tuning in to see what Griff pulls off in the contest, he will be a welcome addition to the festivities considering the contest itself has been dreadful and non-watch able for a decade or so

It will be a hard pill to swallow for most Kobe fans but the inevitable is surely to happen, I thought the title of City’s Best would eventually come from a younger Laker player but that simply is not the case (Andrew Bynum was the best candidate but he’s to injury prone). The Clippers were blessed, for the 7th time in 15 years, with the #1 lottery draft pick-two years ago-and when the consensus number one player fell in their laps I’m sure they couldn’t even predict the success and ‘draw’ Blake is having on the league right now. The Clippers are still playing under .500 but that can change as the 2nd half of the season kicks off and the man in the middle of it all will be the Power Forward with smooth-mean-humble Energy of Steel …Blake isn’t doing it alone either, he’s warmly complimented on the court by Eric Gordon, Baron Davis and the surprising productive DeAndre Jordan…its crazy to think that the Clippers could ever rival the Lakers in Tinsel Town but if the Clippers can string together a few seasons of playoff berths I wouldn’t be surprised, I’m live in this town and I can see the Clipper Nation growing by the day and we’re still 4 weeks away from the All-Star break. Blake ‘Beastly’ Griffin can’t stop and won’t stop! I’m looking forward to seeing this guy grow into being the best player in the entire NBA